


and thus the heart will break, yet brokenly live on

by felicities



Category: Broadway RPF, Wicked - All Media Types, Wicked - Schwartz/Holzman, Wicked RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 19:28:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18037451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felicities/pseuds/felicities
Summary: This might just be that someday.





	and thus the heart will break, yet brokenly live on

In the car ride to the Marquis, Kristin thinks back fifteen Octobers ago.

 

It’s a hazy memory. A few more years and it’ll disappear. But the scene is this: she’s in pink, of course, and Idina is in green. [ They hold hands for the camera](https://66.media.tumblr.com/8faea658a96fc505c6a1857f9f73e205/tumblr_oe0n3dEUsT1vwvwruo6_540.png), but they don’t let go even as the film crew shuffles out of Idina’s dressing room.

 

When the door clicks shut behind them, Kristin squeezes Idina’s hand tighter.

 

“I’m proud of you,” she says.

 

Idina looks at her, incredulous, but says nothing after that.

 

“Our lives could change after this,” Idina tells her right before she climbs the bubble.

 

“I know,” Kristin says. “I love you, Dee.”

 

“And I, you, Kristi Dawn!” Idina shouts, blowing Kristin a kiss as she ascends. 

 

 

 

 

When the curtains come down, Idina picks her up and twirls her. She tightens her hold around Idina’s shoulders, and when she lands on her feet, Idina’s aiming for her cheek. Her lips brush Kristin’s skin, just slightly, just enough. It’s Idina’s turn to say it.

 

“I’m so proud of you, too.”

 

It’s not a memory that Kristin often remembers. She tucks it safely in the dark of her heart, allowing it to stay unmarred by bitter fights and harsh words that will come to plague their relationship in the months to come.

 

Her phone vibrates in her hand, interrupting her musings.

 

“ _You here yet? xo_ ”

 

Kristin smiles.

 

 

 

 

Backstage, she tells Seph to go ahead to her dressing room while she looks for Idina’s.

 

“ _Outside your door_ ,” she types, and presses send.

 

A few moments later, Idina opens the door and pulls her in for a hug. Idina’s warm and familiar, and Kristin wonders how she could ever have let her go.

 

But she’s not one to dwell—at least, not openly, so instead she pulls back and looks at Idina. She flirts, because it’s difficult not to.

 

“You’re gorgeous.”

 

“You are too, babe,” Idina says, leading Kristin to the couch.

 

“I’ve missed this,” Kristin tells her. “It finally feels normal again.”

 

“I know.”

 

 

 

 

When she comes home to Los Angeles after forty-eight hours of singing songs with a woman she’s long decided she’s let go of, Kristin falls into bed with a smile on her face.

 

Someday, she’s told herself countless times, she’ll get over Idina.

 

It won’t hurt as much. She won’t sing about loss and longing, about missed chances and paths untaken. She won’t sing about fear, about regret, about cowardice. She won’t look out into the crowd and hope to catch those ever-elusive eyes, that perfect shade of forest green that she could get lost in, forever.

 

Someday, she will no longer ache for Idina.

 

Someday, she will forgive Idina and herself. She will forgive the fates and destiny and the universe and maybe, if she’s being truthful to herself, she’ll forgive God, too.

 

Kristin lets that day be today.

**Author's Note:**

> title from _childe harold’s pilgrimage_ by lord byron.


End file.
